I am letting you into the murkiest reaches of my mind. Here, just for you, is my latest horror poem; still warm like the victim of the piece. I’m sorry if you don’t sleep tonight… I know I won’t!

There was a largish piece of pie

He lived within the fridge.

I saw that largish piece of pie

And thought I’d have a smidge.

The handsome pie looked back at me

And said with arrogance

“You cannot eat this piece of pie

And fit into your pants.”

“I beg to differ,” so said I

In a tone of slight annoyance

And grabbed the pie, the cream and all

My mind bent on destroyance.

There was a largish piece of pie

And in the fridge lived he

There WAS a largish piece of pie

And now he lives in me.

Now, will somebody puh-leez bring me the Pepto Bismol!